Getting Green: Relationship Envy By: Lexi Schuh

The battlefields of workplace organizations run amok with evidence that women are still serving up the same excluding cliquishness of their old school days. Perhaps you have experienced evidence of these behaviors yourself. The gabbling gaggle that suspiciously halts all talk when you turn the corner of water cooler row. The bestest buddies who discuss happy hour plans right in front of you, never thinking to extend an invitation or, perhaps purposefully, choosing your exclusion. The outside of inside jokes, the downside of upcoming outings, the sidelining from office chatter. It can feel like high school all over again. With these kinds of high school flashbacks, let’s hope the impromptu pimple constellations are, at least, a fixture of your past. Developing workplace relationships Feeling left out of thriving office cohorts can invite back the same green-eyed monster that once plagued us in our formative years. Only now, it is not just about being in with the cool crowd. Our goals in forming workplace relationships have evolved. These latter year clique formations are detached from the excluding cliques of our youths through a subtle but softening distinction. Since we are all grown-ups now (or, at least, the years-based equivalent), the self-serving aspect, while still a component of office cliquing, is coupled with a more collectivistic end result: the achievement of cohesive teamwork. Certainly, having work friends can successfully serve our individualistic needs. Companionships help individuals to make sense of their environments, enjoy themselves in the process, and grow in their capabilities. But having a strong social network in the office can also help employees achieve more for the good of the organization. Research indicates that workplace relationships, believed once to be a hindrance to productivity, can actually benefit companies. Positive workplace relationships can serve as a boon to the productivity and profitability of the organization and, as well, the likelihood of employee satisfaction. In his research for the book Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without, author Tom Rath discovered that employees who cite close office relationships are seven times as likely to engage with their work. Engaged employees equals greater worker satisfaction, productivity, and company profitability. While it may be easy to admire or, in some of our more catty moments, jealously covet those relationships from afar, consider how you might follow their lead. Remember that the water cooler clique that excludes you is not the real world equivalent of Stephen King’s Carrie being bathed in pig blood so instead of plotting your own vengeful blood bath rebuttal, try picking up your own pack of professional pals. Even as having a best friend at work may motivate you to engage in the workplace community and, thus, help you to more aptly participate in the produce and profit model, the pitfalls of workplace friendships may ultimately override those gains if the relationships are not managed appropriately. So tuck the green-eyed monster to bed and follow these simple guidelines to ensure that your workplace relationships benefit one and all. Business interruptus Sitting in a group meeting, you happen to glance over at Grass, Gracie and Cass so inseparably intertwined they have earned a unifying moniker, and register the impending trickling of their sickening symbiosis: matching eye-rolls, joint head-nods, one finishing the other’s sentences. Just as the heckling hyenas of high school got your goat back in the day with their synchronized giggles, these juvenile behaviors can agitate just about anyone and create unnecessary diversions from business at hand. Avoid reverting to these tween-like behaviors. Although close companionships may get you through the doldrums of the day, office friends who display matchy-matchy behaviors and seize every opportunity to celebrate their friendship even in the midst of pressing business can serve as an obnoxious distraction and nix any semblance of professionalism. Avoid exclusivity Perhaps the only thing worse than a gargantuan group of gossiping girls is a pair of them. A duo of dames can easily project a “them-versus-us” feel. Innocuous whispers may be perceived as secret attacks and the closeness between two BFFs can suggest a rejection of all other people in favor of their preferences for one another. As in our civilian lives, from your network of office friends you may mesh best with one individual above all others. However, if you confine yourself to a monogamous friendship in the workplace, you are limiting your personal and professional growth. By engaging with multiple confidants in the course of your workday, you will learn through their differing perspectives, open yourself to more work opportunities, and avoid being seen as an incomplete person without your other half. A glass ceiling of your own design Strong female-to-female friendships are important, but confining yourself to just women can be limiting on multiple levels. Neglecting the hairier of the sexes excludes a large class of perspectives and can put you on the outside of an important set of connections. Studies indicate that the old boys’ networks are still strong, but they are just not as exclusive anymore. However, these guys aren’t sending out the invites, so it is up to you to ensure your inclusion at the party. Enjoy those girl-on-girl workplace relationships, but keep in mind that ignoring the men can serve to suppress your workplace progress. Even as men may not be purposefully weaving these sexist separations, putting all of your relationship eggs in the baskets of the girls provides men the opportunity to keep you from their hatchery. Depending on your navigation, workplace relationships can be the lubricant to the spokes of the organizational grind or a collision waiting to happen. Enjoy the personal rewards of such relationships but do so thoughtfully. Chart your course and choose your crew wisely or your road to the top could very well be a dead end.